How to pick up a girl at a bar by yourself
Relationship tips for Guys

How To Pick Up a Girl At A Bar By Yourself

If you want to meet and pick up a girl at a bar, you may believe that all you need to do is use a pickup line, meanwhile, it is not exactly like that. To distinguish yourself from the crowd, you must know how to pick up a girl at a bar by yourself. 

Although it might seem changeling and almost difficult to pull through but with the right attitude, you can most likely pick up a girl at a bar by yourself. Thankfully, this article comes with everything you need to know about how to pick up a girl at a bar by yourself and also what to say to a girl at a bar.

How to pick up a girl at a bar by yourself

How To Pick Up A Girl At A Bar By Yourself

Below are the best tips on how to pick up a girl at a bar by yourself. They include;

1. Challenge yourself

No matter how often you exercise, it remains challenging. You must push yourself and leave your comfort zone to develop. You must be able to meet with girls and guys that you are scared of. Yes, you will surely get rejected. Eventually, you may even become a weird person. Still, you will progress.

This is typical, which is why you need a rock-solid mentality. Nothing should faze or discourage you. Some methods will seem impossible. There are instances when three attractive women are engaged in discussion. Approaching them is terrifying and never gets easier. You must engage with them to acquire the necessary skills and eventually achieve success. For instance, you can promise to talk to a new girl at a bar by yourself each time you visit. The more you push yourself, the greater your success will be.

2. Leave your comfort zone

When you talk to a girl at a bar by yourself, you are doing nothing wrong. Always preserve your dignity and be courteous. You have the right to approach any woman at a bar, and she has the freedom to reject your advances.

When you leave your comfort zone and take a gamble, your effort is frequently enough to pique a woman’s curiosity. Suppose you approach a woman at the bar and introduce yourself. Though you may be trembling and anxious, she will praise your efforts. She may find it endearing and initiate a conversation with you. She may be your future girlfriend. Who can say? You have nothing to lose.

3. Have a plan

So you went to a bar and want to approach women. Sounds terrific! What will you do if you encounter a woman who likes you? If your primary intention is to converse with her, the discussion will soon end. Not preparing is intending to fail. The fact is that the majority of encounters fail because men do not lead them in the right direction. Either you will acquire her number for a later date, or you will hang out with her now and see where it goes. Here is a proven strategy for going to a bar:

  • Approach a girl or group of girls and introduce yourself.
  • Share a drink and connect.
  • Transfer her or them to a different place for drinks.
  • Take her home.

4. Hang out now

Occasionally, you will meet girls who are alone or with others who are busy. Perhaps she has just left work and is getting a drink, or perhaps her friends or colleagues have departed. Girls who are alone are excellent. It is one of the best ways if you are looking for how to pick up a girl at a bar by yourself. This is an uncommon occurrence. Approach her immediately. The majority of the time, girls are with other girls or in mixed-gender groups. Approaching a group of girls is significantly more terrifying.

If a girl is in a group of female friends, you may approach her and speak with her alone. Just be aware that if her friends visit, you must act normally and greet them. As the guy, you must take the initiative in all encounters. 

5. Smile

It is important to always be happy. A smile conveys cheerfulness, self-assurance, friendliness, and enjoyment. Moreover, it is infectious. When others see you smiling, they will return the gesture. Everyone enjoys being around cheerful people.

6. Make friends with the bartenders

Always engage in conversation with the bartenders while you are alone. Whenever you enter a bar, you should introduce yourself to the bartender and ask to know their names. From then on, you can address them by their names. Other people in the bar, like the girls you are trying to woo, will believe that they are your friends. As a result, this makes it easy and less terrifying whenever you approach girls in the bar to initiate a conversation or a date. 

7. Approach immediately

There is a regulation known as the 3-second rule. If you notice a beautiful girl, you must approach her within three seconds. There are many explanations for this. When we delay and wait, we lose the chance. We get anxious, lose our composure, and end up gazing. Girls have a keen sense of this. Once they discover it, your chances will be lost. You come out as scary and of little worth. When you eventually make contact with her, she will reject you.

We hesitate because of “approach anxiety.” It is the paralyzing anxiety guys have when they try to approach a beautiful woman. You must ignore it since it will never disappear. Similar to when you are in the midst of a difficult workout session, you must persevere. The more attempts you make, the simpler it becomes.

It is unattractive to stand alone. You do not want to be seen as the oddball by yourself. Therefore, you must continually approach. While it is not suitable to approach, such as when a girl is ordering a drink, refrain from doing so. Wait a little while, but don’t miss your chance.

8. Be conversational, friendly, and fun

When you go out, you should have the attitude of a pleasant, cool, and affable person. You should be very sociable with everyone. Communicate with the hostess, bartenders, and anybody standing around. When girls go out, they want to meet entertaining men. Be that person. Do not fear being loud and conspicuous. Be the guy at the bar who is pleased with everyone. Girls will want to meet you as a result. It also improves your attitude toward socializing and flirting.

9. Never get rejected

Not every woman will find you attractive. In reality, a majority will not. It’s OK, you just need one for the night. If you approach a girl and she rejects you, do not consider yourself rejected. Simply put, she is the wrong girl and goes for the next girl. 

How can you determine whether a woman is interested? Start a conversation. Does she participate in the conversation? Does she make eye contact and pose questions? Be truthful with yourself. You can recognize when a woman is interested. When unsure, maintain interaction. Girls are slow to get attracted. Their attraction is far slower. Leave the conversation if she is not interested and locate an interested girl.

10. Do not use pick-up lines

Pick-up lines are ineffective unless you are being humorous. There is no need to say something innovative or remarkable in a bar. You should often approach and introduce yourself by saying something like: “Hello, my name is Matt, and I don’t believe we’ve met before.” Then extend your hand and shake hers while maintaining eye contact. Either a woman will want to meet you, or she will not. Your pickup line will certainly not determine anything.

11. Be confident and impatient

A woman’s most beautiful attribute is her confidence. Girls want to be guided. They want a man that will protect them. Confidence triggers certain primal switches in a woman, causing her to be drawn to you. With assurance comes a lack of reaction. No matter what occurs, it is of no consequence. Nothing should disturb you. Thank a girl if she tells you that you are unattractive. If a girl asks where your friends are, you should respond that you have none.

You are a robust and self-assured individual who cannot be intimidated by anybody. This will make women desire to meet you.

12. Know when to buy her drinks

Do not approach a girl and buy her a drink without knowing her. This is a low-value activity that will result in rejection. Girls will use you to get free alcohol and you should avoid that. 

If you are looking for how to pick up a girl at a bar by yourself, you should know the right time to buy her a drink. This should be done when the conversation has gone far and you are sure she is interested in you. 

What to say to a girl at a bar 

Bars are one of the most popular venues to meet women, and for good reason – there are a large number of them there, and they are meant for mingling. But what to say to a girl at a bar can be quite hard? How do you advance the interaction to achieve your objective? The good news is that this is far easier and less complicated than you may expect.

Here is what to say to a girl at a bar below: 

Body language

In a bar, at least one where you may meet ladies, there are often large crowds of people and loud music. Women evaluate their skills with their friends and converse among themselves. All of this happens far before your arrival.

Essentially, you want to attract her attention and wow her. You must be able to communicate without speaking. Some men believe that excellent appearance and decent attire are sufficient, but women are significantly more interested in your body language.

She will search for signs of confidence, friendliness, a decent sense of humor, and the respect of her peers. This translates to speaking with your hands, establishing eye contact with your group members, and eliciting laughter. This is why men often engage a wingman to help them seem attractive. Women are very adept at detecting when you are acting for their advantage.

How to initiate a conversation with a lady at a bar: what to say to a girl at a bar

Depending on whether you approach her or meet her as she walks by, you will need to use various conversation-starting strategies. Going over signifies making the initial move. You have also breached her personal space, so you will need to be very kind to avoid receiving the cold shoulder. In this situation, you should introduce yourself without excessive talk.

You might say:

  • “Hi, I’m Gabriel. What is your name? 

If she is on her way to the ladies’ room and you manage to catch her attention, you should keep the conversation casual and light to prevent her from leaving.

1. Initiate a cute conversation

The easiest method to do this is via charming conversation or “banter.” Simply said, banter is lighthearted, cheerful talk that seems to have no ulterior intent. Men do this because it makes her giggle and makes her feel at ease.

There are several conversational routes to explore, like: 

  • “Can you believe the music that is being played? Makes me feel like I’m at an elderly people’s home!”
  • Or, be provocative: “Why are you here tonight? There are practically no attractive men here!”

These sorts of self-deprecating statements are effective because they create a little reverse psychology in women. If you are self-assured enough to make these comments, you must be worth conversing with.

2. Don’t be too clingy

One of the most common mistakes made by men who don’t know how to approach women at a bar is attempting to cling too closely. If you are having a good time with a girl, but she excuses herself, do not urge her to remain. Avoid criticizing her for it. Let her go.

The walk-off is a fantastic opportunity for her to speak with her friends, reflect on you, and decide that you’re quite awesome. If you disrespect her, you will have lost your opportunity forever.

Let her depart, but keep an eye on her. Wink at her to let her know you’re still thinking about her. Nevertheless, be careful to maintain the body language of a group having fun. If additional women arrive, you may also converse with them. It’s okay. A little bit of envy may do wonders. 

3. Create a picture of you and her together 

Either after some light banter or when she returns to converse with you, it is time to ramp up the heat. During this phase, you should show your curiosity in a lighthearted manner. You may achieve this by discussing her interests. This establishes in her mind that the two of you are a couple.

For instance, you can say, 

  • “You know, we’re too similar. It would never work between us.” When she asks why you respond, “Because we’d never have anything to dispute about, and we’d have to put in a lot of effort to make the relationship difficult.”

This type of chat is very leading and bypasses numerous typical dating stages. On the one hand, she may criticize you for being insignificant. Nevertheless, if she admires you even a little bit, she will find the concept endearing.

4. Being serious

This is where knowing what to say to a girl at a bar should become very serious as you seek to seize your opportunity. One of the reasons people like meeting women at bars is the relaxed atmosphere. However, if you believe that this is always the case, you are missing the greater picture. Yes, after a few drinks, women are more receptive to conversation, but they’re still searching for the same thing. Specifically, they want a catch with a guy as well. 

In a bar, standard questions such as “Where are you from?” and “What do you do for a living?” are less likely to be asked. Or, “Are you single/divorced? Do you have children?” A bar is not the proper setting. Therefore, you must conversationally convey this information.

Understanding what a woman wants to hear is essential to knowing how to pick up a girl at a bar by yourself. To do this, employ words that convey information. You can say:

  • “So I have this boss who is getting raged because I and my colleague didn’t go the extra mile in our report, he seems to be very controlling, gosh.”

This may seem humorous, but it indicates to her that you are effective in your position. It gives her the impression that she obtained the information without your knowledge.

5. Closing the deal

Finally, let’s discuss why you want to know how to pick up a girl at a bar by yourself and what to say to a girl at a bar. It’s all about exchanging contact information, setting up a date, and maybe extending the evening from there.

Now, in the bar environment, the majority of flirtation and chitchat occur in groups. However, if you want to close the deal, you’ll need to schedule some one-on-one time. If you have not previously offered her a drink, now is the moment to do so. It is ineffective to throw drinks at women, yet it is unusual to acquire a date before doing so.

Now that she has a drink in her hand, ask her if you may have a minute alone. This may be accomplished with words or body language. Once you get her alone, even if it’s only a short distance away from her friends, be straightforward about your goals and what you think about her.

You may be tempted to ask for her phone number because you believe it is simpler than a date, yet a date is more definite. To do this, tell her that you like her a great deal and that you believe the two of you have a connection. Express your want to see her again, and then offer to take her out to dinner.

This will result in her providing her phone number so you can make plans. However, once you have this, you must continue to make a positive impression. It is usually preferable to continue a discussion with the lady you like the next day while you are both clear-headed, rather than squander your efforts by prolonging it into the night.


How to pick up a girl at a bar by yourself and what to say to a girl at a bar are all questions that have been well explained in this article. The choice is yours if you want to approach a particular girl or not, but be well aware that girls are different and what works for one girl might not work for the other. 

So, you need to be as simple as possible when discussing with a girl at a bar and know the right things to say to them to get their attention. 


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